Honestly, this album represents a shift in my overall demeanour in the last few years,
This is Music that i’ve meant to make for a long time, and just wasn’t able to either because of self hatred or just lack of inspiration and or the skills to do so.

I’ve had some very visceral experiences with mental health episodes and major lifestyle changes in the last few years that have made me feel unnaturally aware of being alive at times.

it’s incredibly uncomfortable to know that you are partly responsible for your own ability to be present in the world around you and to be grateful for what you have and the people who care for you, and vice versa.
I found that after years of being so self-defeating and betting on the worst outcomes that the message of ‘The love you withhold is the pain you carry’ started to hold so much weight in me that I couldn’t ignore the fact that I have been my own worst enemy for so many years.

Once I started to make this shift in my life towards love, and towards an appreciation for the things I have, I started to notice major changes in the way that I felt, and the things that were happening in my life started to feel more worthwhile. 

Ive been alcohol free for over two years now, basically the same amount of time since the last full album I released ‘worrybody’.
It’s been a long couple of years, and I don’t think there has ever been a time in my life where so much growth and change happened in such a short span of time.

That being said, some of the lowest points I’ve experienced in many years have occurred in the past 2.
there was a point, near the end of 2018 where i was still living in my van and had no real direction at all. I found myself in a completely dissociative state, always trying to find some sort of meaning to it all, never really being sure.
Music as always was part of coping with that, but I had reached a point with my own music where I felt like I was constantly trying to just exude all the built up raw emotion inside myself through song, and I wasn’t allowing myself to even enjoy the craft of music making anymore because there always had to be some greater meaning to it all.

After a certain point i ended up making some decisions, and I moved into a house in my hometown of crystal beach, which is where i mainly started the process of this album.
I found that space to be really inspirational and I wrote music constantly.
for a time it was good, but as we all know that feeling doesn’t last forever.
Mainly I began to feel isolated, as I was alone constantly.
Through the winter of 2018-2019 I spent literal weeks completely alone without seeing anyone.
It was a pretty dark period at points.
I felt like i had reached my end and that my life would just unfold in that place, and the only thing i would do besides be there was go to work.

Eventually though I joined a band (Zoongideewin) and things started to change in a more positive way from there, I almost immediately joined a second band (Deep Bight) and overall things felt really good.
I was actually like sharing music with friends again and playing live shows.
I think those band experiences have really helped shape this current creative spell that I’m in, and the overall sound and aesthetics of what I find appealing.

In summary, I have no intentions of stopping here. I still have a huge back catalogue of music from these past couple years that just sits on my HD. I know I should have released things chronologically but the pressure and anxiety associated with like releasing music really got to me more than ever.
I will keep going, and I will continue to make music solely for my own desire to do so.